27 May 2009

What had happened was...

I binged last night. It was pretty bad. My fiance has hurt his back so badly that he is off work for the week. He usually just fends for himself when it comes to food but under the circumstances I've had to prepare his dinners. It is killing me. Normally I come home and just avoid the kitchen altogether. Anyway, last night there was pasta, garlic bread, cheese....it was horrid. But! I got up this morning and took my big ass to the gym and tried to kill myself on the elliptical machine for 60 minutes. It felt great.

I brought a protein shake in case I get hungry later today.

I am not happy about the binge last night obviously but I'm feeling stronger and more resolved today. The morning workouts are doing wonders for my energy levels.

A note on my latest Ana Porn (per G.Samsa):

I am reading Fasting Girls: A History of Anorexia Nervosa by Joan Jacobs Brumberg. It is fascinating! Granted, History was one of my majors in college so I enjoy this kind of read but seriously this book is very informative if you want a sociocultural-historical perspective of anorexia. What I've found interesting is that the reasons and causes of eating disorders in women fundamentally haven't changed even as our societies and cultures have evolved the last 200 years. It is a history of mixed messages and denying women an equal voice. Bottom line: I recommend it.

I also recommend staying hungry...which I intend to do today!

I am grateful to all of you ladies for your blogs and comments. You give me strength. I hope I give you some back.

*muah* <3


  1. sucks about the binge, but now I'm just really interested in this book...

  2. I know you killed yourself at the gym...probably twice over. I always feel so weird about buying books on ana. I feel like I'm too fat to go into a store and pick one up and even going online to get one makes me feel bad. Idk.

  3. I read "Fasting Girls" It is a very interesting read. Strange how its evolved but yeah I enjoyed it. Stay strong and hungry girlie!

  4. Yes, morning workouts are the BEST!

  5. I binged on pasta and cheese last night too. Ahh it's so evil. Ahh.
    Good work with killing yourself at the gym. Damn being all poor. I'll just have to trampoline trampoline trampoline.

    I wish I could get some ana books, but I believe friends/family would be suspicious and I'm too poor. Maybe I shall investigate reading books on the internet. Hmm.

  6. thx for the book recommendation