So I took a sleeping pill last night because the damn phen gives me insomnia. But then I still couldn't sleep. It was driving me nuts. I was feeling hungry and the longer I was awake the more I wanted to just go down to the kitchen and binge. It was pissing me off. So M comes upstairs and was surprised to find me still awake. I felt like I was going nuts and I really wanted to eat something. I finally went downstairs but I did restrain myself and juiced just one grapefruit. It was a big ruby red one. So sweet and delicious! I'm guessing maybe 150 calories maximum.
That's not so bad right??
I still feel like shit because I broke my fast early. I wasn't supposed to have anything but water yesterday.
Anyway, I feel asleep about an hour after I drank the juice.
Well, what's done is done. Today is a new day and it's a 500 cal day. I sliced up a whole cantaloupe to take into work (200 cal) and I made a green smoothie with kale, banana, and strawberries (approx 400 cal). So that's a little over the 500 cal mark but I probably won't drink all of the smoothie. I water it down so it makes a lot.
I hate my fucking fat life. I hate that there are people out there that can eat anything they fucking want and never gain weight. M is like that. He lives on fucking coca-cola and potato chips and stays slim. wtf? I just rub potato chips on my thighs because that's where they are going anyway.
I am going to starve this disgusting fat off of me if it is the last thing that I do. I swear it.
On a happier note, you ladies rock. :) And thanks Tri Thin for the compliment on the dress. I love it and it's great because the back of it is corset laced and can be fit perfectly to my shape. Oh, and I read the book Purged yesterday. It was sad but there was so much in it that I could relate to. I'm starting Stick Figure today.
Okay, I've got to run to the shower or I'll be late to work.