06 May 2009

Frackin' avocados

Oh how I hate food. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

I have an office job and I sit entirely too much of the time. The good thing is that I don't work with big eaters so this is the first office I've ever worked in where I don't have to face any edible temptations on a regular basis.

My boss is anorexic. I am sure of it. My last boss was too. Seriously, my boss never eats. She is at work all the time and I never see her nibble on a thing. On the incredibly rare occasion when she brings in food it is always fresh fruit. She has been thin all of her life. Women in DC just are. I have never been surrounded by so many skinny women. DC is a power town and fat is NOT a symbol of strength. Everyone is appearance obsessed. I knew when I moved here that I would fit right in!

So today, with the help of the phen, I have not eaten a thing. Just water all day and two small Altoids (1 cal total). My appetite is gone and it is glorious. I came home and got on the treadmill and worked a few weights. I feel good and empty.

But here I am - with no appetite at all - seriously considering going downstairs and slicing open an avocado. Avocados are a weakness and I wish like hell that I didn't have one in the house. Of course it is my own fault. The Mexican Ambassador sent over boxes of fresh Mexican avocados for people in the office. Free avocado for chrissake. Like a weak fat cow I took one home.

I'm a fool.

I'm not hungry but I want the avocado. I mix them with a clove of garlic, a splash of lemon juice, and salt. I don't need chips or anything. Just a spoon.

276 calories calling my name.


I am going to bed. I can't even deal with it.

I hate myself for even wanting it.

I hate food. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

Stay strong ladies...and stay hungry...always.

1 comment:

  1. It is when we resist that we are truly strong.

    Phen is the diet pill, right? The one prescribed by doctors?