"We're going to have so much fun together." she whispered in my ear.
"We already are!" I grinned.
I feel like my ED and I are falling in love. We're at the early stage where we love everything about about each other and we want to spend all of our time together.
So last night was far from stellar. I got through the day with the green smoothie but then on the way home from work I just wanted to chew something. I don't even know why. I had one hell of an internal argument about it and decided to allow myself to eat some hummus and tabouli when I got home and one dairy-free mini ice-cream sandwich. It was about 500 cals of damage I think. Mostly because I broke down and had two of the mini ice-cream sandwiches. Yeah, I suck. Anyway the day came in around 1000 cals for which I completely hate myself.
In agreement for eating last night I am fasting today as normal and then punishing myself with another fast tomorrow. I shouldn't have eaten last night and I hate myself for it. Food is something I don't need or want.
Friday is normally my fasting day but the office is taking me to lunch to celebrate my upcoming wedding. It would be rude to not eat anything. I checked out the restaurant's menu and they have some salads that will work. Friday after work I am flying home for the party weekend and I will probably have some cocktails with the girls but am going to try not to eat anything to save up my calories for the festivities on Saturday.
Then Sunday will be hangover day and I think I can get away with not eating because I'll need to drink tons of water as I'll certainly be dehydrated from the evening before. Monday I fly back to DC and I can easily get away with fasting that day away.
I have a game plan!
Now I'm going to go get intimate with my ED...at the gym. :) My boss is out so I can sneak in a workout for lunch. Yay!
Love.You.Guys. :)
Stay hungry!
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Lol. We were like on the same wave length yesterday. We both binged on ice cream. Well, I can't fast today, because my mom would freak, but I will tomorrow. Let me know how it goes. Sending you love and support.
ReplyDeleteso jealous of a lunchtime workout!
ReplyDelete:D
ReplyDeleteJesus. I had exactly the same ... but today.
and 1000 cals ... that is so much! right? Its way too much.
God, I remember that early state when you're so involved with your ana and all you can do is think about her and you're proud and giddy and everythings just wonderful and you're so in love with her. I miss that, actually. Try and stick to that feeling as long as you can, it's the best for you both!
xoxox
YOU ... are brilliant. Your ED 101 post not only had me literally laughing out loud, but has also provided the motivation I needed to skip the dinner my husband is inevitably going to mention very soon.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think buying a new wedding dress was a completely reasonable course of action. You can't possibly be expected to stop losing weight when you're doing so well!
Good luck with the fast. I'll be fasting for the next three days, so I feel for you on the whole punishment thing.
ReplyDeleteI felt like that when I first started. Not sure if i loved her hated her. Still not sure now. I've been so tired the past few days, but I think I just have to keep pushing. Some days are easier than others, but it seems like the hard ones get more and more. I don't know. Probably just because I'm not feeling good though! XD
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! Just hold onto how good it feels to be successful and you'll do great!