ED 101

So I was sitting here at work feeling blah and fat. Like a big fat fatty blah blah.

So I googled “weight loss motivation” and was directed to these nuggets ‘o wisdom from about.com.

Okay, sure. This is reasonable stuff but so obviously not what I needed. Thus I have amended it more to my liking ….(drum roll please)…..

ED 101

Sometimes we realize we are a total fat fuck and decide to do something about the obscene circumference of our thunder thighs. We start restricting/fasting/purging but we aren’t losing weight fast enough. We fail at a fast. We eat junk so then we must throw up our lunch. We eat more calories then we would like. Maybe it's from outside pressure; sometimes our friends want to go out drinking (empty calories and drunk binges). Maybe you are forced to eat with your family or hear the sweet song of your favorite food calling out from the refrigerator. Whatever the cause, it sucks.

That doesn't mean you're destined for failure. Even if you've started and stopped 100 times before, this time doesn't have to end the same way.

By putting some important skills to use, you will find it a little easier to stop stuffing your trap with crap and to stick to your ED behaviors.

Skill One: Stop Fucking Eating Like a Cow

One of the best ways to stay motivated throughout your weight loss journey is to stop fucking eating like a cow. Shoving large quantities of food in your mouth is gross and will make your fat ass even fatter. Can you really afford any additional calories??

By starving yourself and/or restricting calories you will lose weight and be thin. If you continue to eat like a cow then you will deserve to look like a cow.

Your day is a success only if the scale numbers move down.

Skill Two: Every Calorie Must be Counted

You must count every single calorie consumed. If you are unsure of the number of calories in something - round up to a higher number then you think. If you ate too many calories one day then you should punish yourself with fasting or restriction the following day. If you binge then you must purge and/or use laxies.

Fewer calories over time = great weight loss.

Count calories or be a cow. The choice is yours.

Skill Three: Identify your Thinspiration

Whether it is pictures of your favorite celebs, skinny models, an upcoming special event, or to gain the attention of someone, it is important that you identify and motivate yourself with Thinspiration. Collect photos that motivate you or buy the outfit you want to wear in a smaller size so that you know you have to starve to wear it.

To achieve long-term ED success, you will have to come face-to-face with your fat habits by asking some important questions:

How will you ever wear size 0 if you keep eating?
Do you want to be “normal” and fat like most people?
What the fuck are you doing even looking at that pizza?

Berating yourself and triggering your ED is the way to get thin. Without that, you will always be a fat pig.

Skill Four: Avoid Eating Whenever Possible

There will always be friends that want to meet for lunch or required meals with your family. You may lose weight and people will try to encourage you to eat unnecessarily. You must avoid these situations whenever possible or at the very least be prepared with plausible excuses.

“I’ve already ate.”
“I’m allergic to ______.”
“I’m vegan.”

Use anything you can think of to avoid eating. Food is the enemy and must be conquered. Being thin is the most important thing. Period.

Skill Five: Remember, Think Thin!

If you aren’t thin. You aren’t shit.

‘Nuff said.


When motivation to stick to your ED is wavering and a good long look in the mirror at your fat thighs and stomach doesn't do the trick, think about the skills listed above, get off your fat ass and go to the fucking gym…or at least do some crunches for crissake.

You’re a cow.

Don’t eat.

Stay hungry…always.