My eyes settled on the title of the article I posted yesterday as I sat at my in-laws dining table on Saturday morning after having taken a bite into the second half of my egg bagel...with full fat cream cheese.
I stopped chewing immediately.
We can only trust ourselves and the food we ourselves cook it seems; fresh whole foods prepared at home that is. Ah well, such is life.
The weekend was not an eating victory by any means. I purged up the first half of the morning bagel but the rest of the day I did no better. There was a lunch outing with M's parents and then the evening family gathering which was of course ridiculously packed with food and drinks. I didn't eat too much at the dinner but there were several beers and one screwdriver. I'm guessing the day was somewhere between 1500-1800 calories. It was not my finest hour. However compared to yesterday, Saturday was a stellar performance.
Oh my lovelies, I binged yesterday.
Oh yes, it was a b/p bonanza! First time I've binged like that all year. I'd honestly pushed out of my mind just how exhausting the whole damn ordeal is. I fell asleep in a heap last night and awoke only slightly bloated (Thank the heavens for Gax-X!! Every Mia should have some on hand. It seriously reduces the day after binge-bloat if you take it when you go to bed. Get the pills not the strips.) yet with renewed spirit and a smile this morning.
Who says I can't come back from a binge stronger than ever?
And so it is Monday and I intend to be done with solid foods from now until further notice. I wish to exist on protein shakes, green smoothies, teas, water, and coffee. Thus, so far today just one protein shake this morning (110 cals) and I can't bring myself to consume anything else following the weekend food escapade.
Starve on!!
I'm off to check up on all of your blogs with hopes that your weekends were far more successful than my own. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
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my journey to thin
For my last 2 fasts, a shameful binge was exactly what drove me to be so determined, so I totally agree. You will still be victorious!
ReplyDeleteThis weekend was a road block and nothing more, my lovely. I admire you for bouncing back so quickly and for having a renewed spirit. Time to feel the empty again.
I am here for you and I know you'll be strong. Thank you, as always, for your unconditional support... it keeps me going like you don't even know.
Hope you're having a good day, love.
xoxoxo
:)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your response to my "starvation mode" post... I couldn't agree more with all that you said. I would feel nothing short of ridiculous, sitting there eating and counting, counting and eating, trying to get myself up to a number for...what? To please the doctors and scientists who apparently know everything about MY body? Right. No.
You're wonderful, love. I'm so fortunate to have all of you and all of your support. SO grateful to have discovered this community and everything that comes with it. <3
even if you didnt do as good as you had hoped what matters is that now you are more determined than ever to get back on track.
ReplyDeleteyea, i havent been able to eat much of anything processed since i read that, its like attack of the calories and they are hiding in "safe" food ,just waiting for you to get hungry.
your going to do great on your liquid fast, your so strong.
meg
well, hopefully this binge will get you in a way that will encourage you to restrict more and more. it kinda happens to me.
ReplyDeletei know you can make it!
xoxo