Side note to previous commenter Tiffany asking for "advice".
My sincere advice is for you to get a gym membership and join weight watchers. Reduce your calories slowly over time. Eat more fruit and veggies. Be sure to get some exercise daily.
I would not recommend doing anything I do here. I restrict. I purge. I am what they call "eating disordered". I would advise you to stay far from it.
As for the challenge of being married to a man who loves food, if you can't avoid eating with him then at least make a concerted effort to reduce your portions. Couple portion reduction with exercise and you'll find success over time. Just stay strong and don't give up!
*********And now back to our regular programming....****************
The last two days have been a free for all. Eating crap. Purging shortly thereafter. Eating more crap. Feeling depressed and then punishing myself by digesting aforementioned crap. Terrible, terrible, terrible.
While wallowing in my misery yesterday and shoving a handful of potato chips down my throat I tried to figure out what the hell I was really feeling. I've been so down this week. And then it hit me, I'm sad/angry/hurt about losing a friend.
Here's a synopsis of the tale:
- M (my husband) works with a guy for years, let's call him SG.
- SG finally gets a girlfriend in early 2008, she is my friend J who was referenced here.
- I LOVE J. We are born one day apart (she's the oldest). She even has a daughter with my name. I feel like we are long lost sisters. I don't make girlfriends easily so I'm thrilled.
- 6 months ago SG and J move into a house in my town even though J tells me that she and SG are having problems.
- 3 months ago J asks me to sell my car to her daughter. I agree and give them a deal and even say they can pay me in installments.
- 2 weeks ago J tells me that she is cheating on SG (I think this is shitty and tell her so.)
- Shortly thereafter I stop receiving the agreed upon car payments.
- J then announces that she is leaving SG and won't return my calls or emails.
- I am now out a friend and several thousand dollars.
God, it sounds so damn petty when I type it all out.
Nevertheless I am PISSED and HURT at how J is going out. This is why I have almost no female friends. Why the fuck do women treat each other this way?? And this is not the first time I've been screwed over by a chick. I am too old for this bullshit.
I thought I was helping a FRIEND. I always go out of my way for people like this in my life and 9 times out of 10 I get screwed up the ass with no lube! (Pardon my language.)
When I'm hurt, I eat.
When I eat, I hurt.
It's a vicious cycle that ends today.
It is bad enough how I let the ED control me. I'll be damned if I'm going to let that bitch J cause me to gain weight.
I am heartened only by my strong belief in karma. At least I behaved from a place of trying to help someone. She is a user and will get hers one day.
I intend to be thin and happy while she suffers.
So far nothing but coffee and I'm shockingly not hungry. I'm going to pop a half of a phentermine to keep it that way.
Stay strong ladies!