10 December 2009

I put the 'end' in Friend.

Side note to previous commenter Tiffany asking for "advice".

Dear Tiffany,

My sincere advice is for you to get a gym membership and join weight watchers. Reduce your calories slowly over time. Eat more fruit and veggies. Be sure to get some exercise daily.

I would not recommend doing anything I do here. I restrict. I purge. I am what they call "eating disordered". I would advise you to stay far from it.

As for the challenge of being married to a man who loves food, if you can't avoid eating with him then at least make a concerted effort to reduce your portions. Couple portion reduction with exercise and you'll find success over time. Just stay strong and don't give up!


*********And now back to our regular programming....****************

The last two days have been a free for all. Eating crap. Purging shortly thereafter. Eating more crap. Feeling depressed and then punishing myself by digesting aforementioned crap. Terrible, terrible, terrible.

While wallowing in my misery yesterday and shoving a handful of potato chips down my throat I tried to figure out what the hell I was really feeling. I've been so down this week. And then it hit me, I'm sad/angry/hurt about losing a friend.

Here's a synopsis of the tale:

- M (my husband) works with a guy for years, let's call him SG.
- SG finally gets a girlfriend in early 2008, she is my friend J who was referenced here.
- I LOVE J. We are born one day apart (she's the oldest). She even has a daughter with my name. I feel like we are long lost sisters. I don't make girlfriends easily so I'm thrilled.

...fast forward...

- 6 months ago SG and J move into a house in my town even though J tells me that she and SG are having problems.
- 3 months ago J asks me to sell my car to her daughter. I agree and give them a deal and even say they can pay me in installments.
- 2 weeks ago J tells me that she is cheating on SG (I think this is shitty and tell her so.)
- Shortly thereafter I stop receiving the agreed upon car payments.
- J then announces that she is leaving SG and won't return my calls or emails.
- I am now out a friend and several thousand dollars.

God, it sounds so damn petty when I type it all out.

Nevertheless I am PISSED and HURT at how J is going out. This is why I have almost no female friends. Why the fuck do women treat each other this way?? And this is not the first time I've been screwed over by a chick. I am too old for this bullshit.

I thought I was helping a FRIEND. I always go out of my way for people like this in my life and 9 times out of 10 I get screwed up the ass with no lube! (Pardon my language.)

When I'm hurt, I eat.
When I eat, I hurt.

It's a vicious cycle that ends today.

It is bad enough how I let the ED control me. I'll be damned if I'm going to let that bitch J cause me to gain weight.

I am heartened only by my strong belief in karma. At least I behaved from a place of trying to help someone. She is a user and will get hers one day.

I intend to be thin and happy while she suffers.

So far nothing but coffee and I'm shockingly not hungry. I'm going to pop a half of a phentermine to keep it that way.

Stay strong ladies!



  1. omg thats terrible! what a bitch, its rediculous that we cant trust anyone know adays. and no its not petty, your out of alot of money and you lost someone you thought you could trust. i know what thats like...
    i really do hope karma comes back and bites her in her ass.
    have you tried the chew and spit thing when you feel like eating fatty foods? it takes some effort to get the first bite out but its easier on your body than purging and you get all of the good taste.
    hang in there, your doing great

    and even though you lost a friend in the real world im sure many of us(including me) consider ourselves your friend...and none of us will ask you to sell us a car. :)


  2. i agree.
    men say it to your face; which is refreshing.
    ive always been the friend who is honest. not blunt; but honest; so i see where your coming from.
    but, seriously, if this continues on, get that money.
    because regrardless of her anger at your honesty, she owes you money.
    she is being SUPER shollow in that respect.
    sorry if im being rude about her, but it's a slight pet peeve of mine when people cant take the truth..

  3. Getting screwed over by a friend sucks!! someone that is supposed to care about you. You can take her to small claims court you know. If any of the transfer paperwork shows the sale amount then showing the amounts you have to date you would probably win. Just a thought. Hang in there.

  4. can you not get the police envloved or something because isnt it technically theft ?

    that is so shitty though you really did go outta your way taking it in instalments

    sounds like a friend you didnt need

  5. thats really really impressive. your ability to stop and reflect and figure out what was putting the chips in your mouth for you is such progress! amazing. really.

    and no it doesnt sound petty at all. Friends dont make committments to each other such as marriage or joint purchases, but they can be those who we put the most effort in for, and its perfectly understandable to be hurt/rejected etc by this behaviour.

    I hope that some honest words and time will heal the rift, i have found that in the past it is usually the case.

    either way, keep on trucking with your new insightful control! xx

  6. she owes you the money regardless of if whether or not you're still friends.

    take her to small claims court to get your $$$$$

  7. firstly, very proud of you to not encourage anyone to go for the restrict/purge horrible cycle!
    oh my god your friend is a bitch. thats not at all ok!
    you should be able to go to court and get your money still, shouldnt you?

  8. Oh dear god that was an unbelievably shitty thing for her to do! Karma had better have a huge foot-to-ass heading her way.

    I'm gonna have a mental image of you shooting up adrenaline with a syringe made out of the Blogger logo every time I post now XD

    I hope you have an awesome weekend! <3 Take care of yourself, bunny!

  9. Definitely take her to small claims, or at least make the threat with no intention of bluffing. She owes you money, you did nothing wrong. Her actions are beyond immature. Go you!

  10. Oh, sweetie! That sucks! You should move to my city and we can be friends and not eat together. I promise I will never borrow more than a dollar for the vending machine (and you will tell me "no" because you will know that I will immediately throw up whatever I got out of the vending machine) and I will schedule ridiculously long walks for us instead of lunch dates.

    But in the realm of the possible, you really should take her to small claims court. Did you get any part of this deal in writing? Even a reference to it in an email? If she paid you by check you can show those checks as evidence that some kind of payment plan was contemplated and how much each payment was supposed to be. Some state court systems have really good self-help web sites - check yours out.

    Good luck!

  11. What a whore. She'll get hers one day, believe me.

    I've been through the same shit over and over, as well. I feel your pain! I learned the hard way to never lend money (or other money dealings) with friends.