20 April 2011
She shoots, she....?
I've never once hit my goal weight.
And I've been dieting off and on forever.
My first serious diet experience was at 15.
I was so disgustingly fat at that age that my Mom just took me to a place called The Diet Workshop and signed me up. They put me on a diet of 500 calories a day immediately. I don't even think they have places that put you on really low calorie diets like that anymore!
Anyway - I lost like 13lbs in the first week! Oh - I was a TOTAL COW at 15. Seriously, like over 200lbs!!!!
I was a walking atrocity.
I can hardly believe that I lived through my teens.
Even then I had a goal and I lost a bunch of weight but never hit my goal.
I still haven't to this day which is just so sad really.
I'm a grown woman and still fighting this battle.
I've been on every diet in the world but honestly I was most successful when I lost myself in restricting and fasting. I guess that's why I am heading back down this road...but definitely avoiding that repulsive bitch mia this time. I hate mia.
I refuse to let another year pass having not met my goal.
I'm just so damned tired of being fat and even more tired of letting myself down.
I do feel good today though! I can tell that I'm losing weight. I feel it. The sense of control is sooooooooo loverly! I am contemplating getting on the scale this weekend. Maybe.
I am dying to know the number but I can't face the number I've gained.
Maybe I'll just get through this month with some serious restricting and weigh myself for the first time on May 1st.
yeah, that's it!
I wish like hell that I could lose 20lbs by then.
*UPDATE* Per Kitty's question below my ultimate goal weight is 120. I'm 5'3" and told I have a "large frame"....FML.